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This is an email sent to a friend....
In my experience, observation, and study of scripture, I have found multiple tools that are extremely helpful to personal and spiritual growth. Clearly, self-study of the Bible, prayer, etc. is huge. There are books written by incredible Christians who did just that, all by themselves, and achieved more than I will ever dream of. The things I have seen to most impact my friends toward personal growth are these: Relationships, Service, Leadership, Accountability...
Relationships. And this doesn’t have to be relationships with anyone in particular! Family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and they don’t have to be more mature than you! As a matter of fact, most of the people who have caused the most growth in my life were very immature believers, and it was all their failures and raw edges rubbing me in all the wrong places that made my character HAVE to grow in order to relate to them and love them. Not the funnest way to spiritual growth, but very effective.
Service. It’s amazing what happens when you humble yourself, get your hands dirty, and serve someone else. Whether this is through tasks that support the church body, like worship, greeting, children’s ministry, or through tasks that support the unchurched in our community, like volunteering at a homeless shelter, teen pregnancy crisis center, food processing center (a lot of our members have volunteered at a place called Daily Bread for this purpose), etc. Dying to self is an awesome way to spiritual maturity. I’m not trying to say, like Tina in the skit on sunday, that you have to hate it for it to make you grow. I’m just saying that giving your life away is what Jesus did the entire time he was on earth, and that is our goal. Everything else we do for ourselves should be toward that end.
Leadership. This is a facet of the item above. Being in charge of this community group and the worship team have been the most stretching, straining, painful, joyful, character building exercises I could imagine. I have so much sympathy for my parents, and every other senior pastor in the world, and no idea how they manage to pastor an entire church full of people like the ones in my community groups (both present and past). Coaching people through life is fraught with danger and I recommend it only to the stable believer desiring deep growth and lots of treasures in heaven for the ones you’ll never see on earth.
Growth Groups. This is our term for them at the Vineyard anyway. These are groups of 2-3 people, usually all of the same gender, who meet weekly for accountability, relationship, and sometimes they have a specific curriculum to work through as well, in pursuit of their relationship with God. I have seen all kinds of these groups, as far as pairings of Christian maturity. You’d be amazed how “deep”some people go (even those like M and A who may appear shallow at other times) when engaged spiritually in an accountability group like this. My dad has met with men older/younger/more/less mature, in groups like this, throughout his life, and has found great help from this. B has as well. There are multiple Christian men in our church who are in their 40’s, 50’s, married, etc. who are very very solid in their Christian walk and have been through a lot in their lives, who may be interested in doing a growth group with you and another guy. This is the closest our church comes to a formal mentorship program.
I strongly believe that the body of Christ is equipped to strengthen each other through mutual growth. And even a group of different people, for example, I actually consider M very mature in certain ways, for example his relationships with close friends. I have seen him work through very difficult relational tensions (the type that always seem to occur eventually with friends), and stay commited and engaged to get through a relationship trouble spot that most other people would have just walked away from the friendship at that point. To me, that act of maturity is beyond the ability of many many people I know. So in a growth group, people can learn from eachother’s strengths and weaknesses. Of course, there certainly are times I have sought out my mom, or other ladies in the church who are like rocks, for guidance on specific issues. But as far as personal growth, I would say that has come more informally in the ways I have suggested above.
The main thing I’m getting at, is that we all need places to be poured into, and to be poured out upon. There are members in our church and community group who are on very shaky ground in their personal and spiritual lives, and desperately in need of those who can pour into them. My childhood was full of my parents, pouring into me, growing me into a woman who is ready to pour into others. I’ll never “get there” until heaven, as I will always be “getting there” until then, but hopefully I’m on the right road of spiritual maturity. On that road, I have found it is in the places where I served, led, gave my life away, that Christ was the most evident and the most strengthened in me.