When I was twelve, she gave me an emerald ring set in gold (I think it had four or five smallish emeralds all in a row), but perhaps I was too young for expensive jewelry. I set it on the counter once while making bread dough with my mom, and it got swept into the garbage disposal along with all the other doughy flour mess on the counter when we finished. I still have the gold – twisted and mangled – but the emeralds were gone.
The second item of expensive jewelry she gave me was an amethyst ring, my birthstone. It has five teardrop or pear-shaped amethysts in a row, set in gold. I hardly ever wear purple, and this ring is a bit much for my taste, so I’ve only worn it a few times. I was a teenager when she gave me this ring, and I still have it in a cedar box with a few other pieces of expensive jewelry I rarely wear. Recently, I gave it to my sister Mercy, since purple is her favorite color.
The third ring she gave me was white sapphire (looks like diamonds but not as precious) set in gold. This one is classy and beautiful, but I don’t wear gold much, and it’s not exactly the right size. I’ve thought about having it taken apart someday and separating the stones into different promise rings for my daughters.
So, this is the fourth ring, and by far the most beautiful, expensive, and perfectly matched to my taste. I counted thirty seven diamonds, I don’t know their weight, but they are about the size of four ball-point pen tips put together. It is set in what appears to be white gold (I have to get the ring appraised) because of the hue of the metal and its age. It’s a silver-toned color, but has a warmer hue to the metal than my platinum wedding ring, and platinum hasn’t been in style for many years.
Apparently the ring was a gift to her from my grandfather. There was a local jewelry store going out of business, and he purchased the $1,200 ring for $400. Who knows how many years ago that was, but he died about eighteen years ago, so it had to be longer than that. She said it was her last diamond ring that she has not yet given away.
Here are the most amazing things about it. The wedding ring I have was about $800 when Benjamin and I purchased it. It is very tiny, dainty, an “eternity” design band, which means it has tiny diamonds all the way around the band. It is half the width and thickness, or even less, than a standard wedding band. It is set in platinum, and I get compliments on it regularly because it is so dainty and simple. Women with huge diamonds or heavy thick metal settings frequently make comments about how large and bulky their rings are, and how much they like the size and delicacy of my wedding ring.
Every so often, I notice a particularly beautiful large diamond on a woman’s hand, and have a moment of wishing for another larger ring at some point in my future. I wouldn’t see that happening for twenty years or so, which means whenever I have that thought, I push it out, and remind myself how much I love this ring, and how many compliments I’m always getting on it. But every so often, I have this twinge of yearning for something more spectacular, noticeable, or expensive.
When we purchased the ring, I was determined not to have a solitaire diamond, because I had lost the small quarter-carat solitaire from my promise ring. My dad replaced the diamond for me, but the thought of ever losing a larger diamond kept me from wanting a solitaire ring. I still wanted diamonds though, which is how we picked my eternity band.
In the past six months or so, my wedding ring has become increasingly loose. It fit when we purchased it (it was custom made to the right size), and the shape of it has shifted only slightly through six years of wear. I weigh the same as I always have, so I can’t figure out what has changed. I have actually been able to shake it completely off my finger in the winter on a cold day. This of course makes me nervous that I might lose it, which would be a tragedy. And it cannot be re-sized, because of the diamonds all the way around it. To re-size it would mean to have it completely disassembled and re-made.
One more point is that when Benjamin proposed to me, he did so with a delicate ring he had braided and woven from narrow Chinese grass. We were spending the day together in Fredericksburg, Texas, and ate our picnic lunch in a Chinese garden. The bench we sat on was right next to a plant of waist-high tender grass shoots which were a thickness between thread and yarn. Benjamin played with the grass the whole time we were eating lunch, then disappeared into a nearby restroom for twenty minutes or so. Later in the afternoon when he proposed, he slid a soft woven grass ring onto my ringer finger next to my promise ring. Ever since then, when I’ve thought about having another wedding ring someday, I’ve thought about designing something that looked like it was woven or braided, to represent that grass “engagement” ring Benjamin first proposed to me with (I still have it by the way).
So this ring from Tita fits every piece of the puzzle. It is set in a silver-colored metal (white gold or platinum), which matches my existing platinum ring. There is no solitaire diamond, but there are 37 diamonds across it. These diamonds are a bit more than twice the size of the 31 on my existing ring, so they are more noticeable and have considerably more sparkle. The metal is thicker, like a standard wedding band, so it will hold its shape and strength better. And of course, the best of all, it appears as if it is woven or twisted together. The 37 diamonds are in two “strands” made to look like they criss-cross or twist over and under each other. Each of these “strands” is only a bit thicker than the single “strand” or band of my existing ring, so they look like they were made for each other. And it is significantly smaller, probably a half size smaller, so that when my hands are warm, like coming out of the shower, I can barely get it off. It doesn’t slide around up and down my finger, almost hanging on my knuckle, like the other, but stays in place. And, it is something I may never have been financially able to receive from Benjamin. I’m not sure even if we could afford it, that I could justify the cost of another diamond ring when I already have a beautiful one, and there are so many starving people in the world.
Ironically enough, I’ve never prayed or asked God for another diamond ring. It seemed silly and selfish, and I really was happy with my existing ring 99% of the time. It was just this occasional dreamy wish in the back of my heart, and He must have known and wanted to bless me. I still can’t believe it’s really on my finger, and not a single tiny detail of what I longed for is missing.