34
Our church is in the middle of a teaching series on finances. It is going beyond the typical “tithe” sermon to discuss multiple areas of our financial lives, and understand God’s perspective on them. We began with understanding the “spirit of Mammon” – a spiritual force that draws us to poor financial choices.
This past Sunday, we concluded four weeks on this concept, and prayed out loud as a congregation confessing our cooperation with the “spirit of Mammon”, rejecting it in our lives, and praying for the freedom and truth of God in our financial lives. We specifically confessed each of the ten “symptoms” of the influence of a spirit of Mammon in our lives, that our pastor identified (Worry and anxiety over money, Money mismanagement, Consistent financial lack, “I NEED” it mentality, Impulse buying, Stinginess, Covetousness and greed, Discontentment, Bondage to debt, and Exaggerated emphasis on money). We were supposed to identify which of these symptoms we exhibited and confess them. I thought, “check….check…check…check…” Okay, yup, all of them, check all of them! I want to be free of this!
After church, I drove home, took a nap, and packed a bag for my overnight trip to Houston to visit Matt and Tabitha (my sister and brother-in-law). As I waited in traffic at an intersection near our home, I saw a “man with a sign” (ie homeless person begging), as we frequently do at this intersection. I’ve seen him before in the area, and he is very very thin, although not as haggard and sloppy looking as others. I sensed in my spirit, “You can give him something.” Now, I’ve never in my life given cash to anyone begging. I have given food, but not cash. I always rationalize that they probably use cash for alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes, which I don’t want enable. Furthermore, they are most likely the way they are because of irresponsibility and poor choices, and if they really wanted to, they could still make something of themselves, so the rest of us should not enable them to continue their current lifestyle.
However, there was once before that I felt a prompting to give cash to a particular person begging, and I didn’t do it, and felt so miserable I even drove back ten minutes later, looking for them, but they were gone. This time, I didn’t want to miss again!
I waited until he passed back by my car, handed him a $1 bill, and said, “God bless you” with a smile. He thanked me, and as I rolled my window back up, still looking at his back walking away from my car, I heard in my spirit, “Joy, I LOVE him!” Immediately, my heart broke with compassion and sorrow. How had I missed for so many years that the Lord LOVES these people with signs? Despite their poor choices, despite what they may do with my hard-earned money, the Lord LOVES them, LOVES them! And even if my choices over how to treat them are done in logic or wisdom, I too, must LOVE them!
I cried for a long time as I drove, and cried again later in my four-hour drive, thinking about it. “Joy, I LOVE them!” His love is so powerful, so amazing, and so NOT dependent on our successes, failures, or ability to earn or even desire His love. I want my heart to be softened with that kind of love.