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My memory has never been the greatest. Friends and family frequently recall delightful experiences we have shared, but only after a lengthy description do I vaguely recall the event. Without their memory or a photo, it would be lost to me. I feel sadness and loss over this, because I am losing the memory of wonderful things in my life.
Beginning in junior high and continuing through college, I journaled almost daily, recording many things I’m sure I have forgotten by now – some petty, some monumental. I stopped journaling at some point into my romance with Benjamin, because he became the recipient of the thoughts I used to write out.
Unfortunately, my perspective on life frequently tends toward pessimism. I wage a constant war between the part of me that gets overwhelmed, giving in to a negative attitude; and the part of me that loves beauty and laughter and longs to focus on good things.
I am teaching myself to come home from an event and relate to a friend the positive things that occurred instead of the negative. There is usually a bit of both in most experiences, yet my brain seems instinctively drawn to the frustrating or negative. Suddenly, in the 10 or 15 minutes of precious time I have spent recounting my day/an incident/a conversation, I have shared only the negative. Un-retrievable time has passed, and I am left having never shared the positive. This increases not only my pessimism, but also the person’s to whom I have shared. This pattern is completely abhorrent to me when I step back. I am now working hard to slow down enough to realize when I am doing this, and instead share the positive.
One of my old bosses named Nikki made it a point to pass on what I called “positive gossip.” If she overheard someone talking about you, and it was something good, she would make a point to tell you later. It was one of the most encouraging, unifying things I have experienced. I want to be more like her.
The amount of time and effort we as American humanity spend complaining instead of encouraging is repulsive, especially considering the plush lives we live compared to most of the world. Fifty percent of the world’s population (3 billion out of 6 billion people) live on less than $2 American dollars per day. Yet we as a culture are selfish complainers. Sadly, I am not much further along than anyone else.
But I want to be. I want to remember the good things, to choose to speak the positive, to pass on encouragement, to notice blessings and beauty, to allow these things to transform my perspective.
All this leads to the reason I began this blog. If anyone else reads and finds joy here, (no pun intended!), that is an added pleasure. But I created it to record good things of my life – answered prayer, happy memories, warm words, people who love or inspire me, lessons wrestled through, success stories, God moments, things for which I am grateful. Wonderful things that I want to notice… and remember. Well, the reality is I won’t remember most of them, so I must write them down. Writing and re-reading the stories may help change my life perspective into a more positive and cheerful one. And I don’t have to afraid of forgetting these precious pieces of my life.