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Down In My Heart Joy!: Maternity Fashion: How to Keep Your Style While Wearing a Bump - THIRD TRIMESTER
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I've written about maternity fashion for first trimester here, and second trimester here. This is the final post on third trimester.
The thing to remember at this stage of pregnancy, when you're feeling sweaty and uncomfortable, having increasing trouble sleeping, and putting up with a daily onslaught of comments ranging from, "Are you SURE you're not having twins?" to "ARE YOU SURE you're not having twins," to "You haven't had this baby yet?" to "When are you due again (was it yesterday?)" to "ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY sure you're not having twins," here's the thing you have to remember:
This precious, precious little one is going to make it all worth it. And with the sense of humor God instilled in the universe, you will exchange your sweaty pregnancy body for a drippy-lactating body; your firmly shaped baby-belly for a squishy, lumpy post-partum belly; and lots of trouble sleeping for no sleep at all, topped off with a bazillion comments about how freaking adorable your little one is and are they sleeping through the night yet?
And once again I will repeat, oh the precious little one that is worth it all. Oh the joy they will bring to your days. And just like the awkwardness of toting around a pregnancy belly, a puffy face, and swollen ankles, the sleepless nights of early parenthood, too, will pass. It is for a season that seems long in the moment and short in the past.
Hang in there, mamas!
Overall third trimester fashion tips:
1. If you have any remaining ability to still wear non-maternity blouses or dresses, rock it. However, pay attention to lines like bra lines or pregnancy boobs popping out of things, panty lines in your dresses, etc.... Being pregnant comes with a lot of imperfections, but you can embrace those curves while smoothing them out. If the weather allows it, wearing a thin cotton tank under a fitted shirt, or a belly band over the pants and popped-out belly button, will help smooth things out. I used Ingrid and Isabel belly bands during my pregnancy, because of their high quality and durability.
2. Your face inevitably changes. Looking through these photos, I can see the beginning of "pregnant face" at about twenty weeks, but by thirty-four weeks, I was having to photograph my face at different angles in order to be happy with how the photos turned out. The good news is your face is probably the first thing to go back to looking normal after delivery, and should do so within a couple days, depending on if you had a lot of IV fluids during a hospital stay (which will add a few more days to losing the puffy look). You can feel better about how you look by taking care of the parts you CAN control.
3. Comfort becomes increasingly important. If the weather is cool enough, leggings or tights under a tunic or short dress can be wonderfully comfortable while still looking put-together.
4. You may need to invest in new shoes, if your feet or ankles experience swelling. I needed new shoes by about thirty-two weeks ish. I opted to purchase two pairs of flats that were dressy enough for work, but casual enough for daily use - a brownish color and a silvery color since those two seemed to look good with everything. I had one pair of Crocs flats that also fit until the end of my pregnancy. I couldn't wear flip flops because the straps pressed into my swollen feet, plus it really showed that I was swollen, and I got tired of people freaking out over my ankles. I wore a lot of thin pants at the end, to help hide my ankles.
5. You can still look and feel beautiful. In fact, I guarantee that you look prettier than you think you do. Other people don't see the imperfections the way you do, and the bigger your belly gets, the more attention it gets than your face anyway. Once the baby is born, people hardly look at you anymore because they are too busy looking at the precious tininess.
6. Decide when it's time to lose the "fitted-under-the-belly" blouses. You may make this change based on a glance in the mirror, or based on how many twin comments you get in a day. As long as belts are still comfortable against your ribs, I think they look great all the way till the end. You will need skinny belts though; wide ones won't do. Preferably 1/4 to 1/2 inch at a maximum, or a soft sash or ribbon is even better.
29 Weeks. Dress: Old Navy (not maternity, but two sizes larger than my normal size). Necklace: thrifted. Belt: Ebay. Tights: Walmart or Target. Boots: Ross. I can't do the ankle-height booties that are so popular right now - they look like hooves to me, especially on my size 9.5 feet. But these boots were a short length that was comfortable to wear without being so low they turn me into a horse.
30 Weeks. Blouse: Old Navy (not maternity, but the ruched sides made it an awesome maternity blouse). Cardigan: Old Navy. Skirt: thrifted (not maternity, super stretchy waist). Boots: Ross. Necklace: gift, from India. Belt: thrifted.
31 Weeks. Blouse: I don't remember, not one of my usual stores... super stretchy and soft, not maternity. Cardigan: consignment, also not maternity. Necklace: fabulous, gift from my boss from New Mexico, real turquoise and various handmade beads. Pants: Craigslist, maternity slacks. I bought a pair of black, brown, and grey dress slacks off Craigslist early in my pregnancy, before they fit. It was a great purchase as I wore them daily to work. I paid more than I wanted to for them, but they were still cheaper than buying new high-quality maternity dress slacks, and I definitely got my money's-worth out of them. Shoes: thrifted, one of my all-time favorite thrifted finds, red leather retro-looking heels that fit perfectly and were my favorite brand of dress shoes, Gianni Bini from Dillards. I paid $10 for them, and $16 to have them repaired where some of the leather was fraying. Which is also to say that high-quality leather shoes can almost always be repaired by a good shoe shop. I've saved many a pair of lovely shoes by sending them for a $10 repair.
I included the close-up belly shot here, to show the transition happening with fitted blouses. In the first and second trimester, fitted blouses are your best friend. As you get further into the third trimester, they definitely show off your belly still, but it becomes a question of how much you want to show off your belly, and how many questions about triplets you want to field that day. I was hitting the transition point here for sure. As you can see, the following week's photo my belly actually looks smaller, which is just a matter of how I dressed.
32 Weeks. Cardigan: thrifted (Gap), Blouse thrifted, Belly Band (showing under my blouse) Ingrid and Isabel, Pants maternity slacks Craigslist (see prior photo), shoes brown leather heels from Gianni Bini, Belt thrifted.
The cropped sweaters started looking good around this stage of pregnancy. They worked to visually shorten my torso, which seemed to make my belly appear a bit smaller. This blouse that isn't fitted-under-the-belly also helps visually shorten my torso and belly size.
33 Weeks. Blouse: Gap (not maternity), Necklace Ebay, Belt Urban Outfitters, pants Craigslist, Shoes Walmart.
Although I was slowly moving away from fitted-under-the-belly blouses at this stage, I wanted to photograph this blouse I had worn repeatedly during my pregnancy. I had a gift card to Gap Maternity from a friend, and this was one thing I bought with it. It was incredibly soft and flowy, and not hot to wear. It was from the non-maternity part of the store, and was a size extra small. I guess they intended it to be worn like a short dress or something, because it would have been absolutely enormous on me if I wasn't 33 weeks pregnant. There was room for me to wear it right up until the end.
It is belted at the empire waistline, because I think this is such a wonderful look for pregnancy. At this stage however, you may be feeling pretty constricted in the ribcage area, depending on how your baby and placenta are positioned. I was lucky in that my placenta was at the top of my uterus, under my diaphragm and ribs, so I never experienced baby kicks knocking the wind out of me. If he kicked straight up, I couldn't even tell.
Also, I use Ebay when I have a specific item I'm searching for. For example, a gold leaf necklace, or a skinny silver belt. I could visit a ton of stores before finding the exact item I have in mind, or Ebay usually yields it with a ten or fifteen minute browsing keyword search.
34 weeks. Cardigan, thrifted (Gap), Blouse Old Navy (not maternity, I think a regular size L maybe), pants Craigslist maternity slacks, Shoes Crocs Malindi, Necklace thrifted.
Eventually I couldn't wear these Crocs anymore, as the sling back strap would press into my swollen feet. You can tell in this photo that my feet and ankles are merging. It was getting hard to hide. Around 36 weeks, I had slight signs of early stages of preeclampsia, but after treatment from my naturopath and lots of prayer, the symptoms all disappeared and I had a safe, normal home birth.
The looseness under my belly looked best on me at this substantial-belly stage of pregnancy. The cropped cardigan helped to raise up the eye off the belly and visually shorten my torso. I love, love this necklace. I only have a few very-large necklaces in my wardrobe, and they always seem a bit overwhelming when I put them on. But when I see them in photos, they just look fabulous and really bring vibrance to an otherwise simple outfit.
35 Weeks. Scarf Old Navy, Cardigan consignment, Blouse Liz Lange Target maternity), pants Craigslist, shoes Ross.
I usually say I don't like purple, but then I realize I have a substantial amount of plum in my wardrobe, and it's a color I really enjoy wearing. This is the ivory blouse I wore backward in an earlier second trimester post with a black and white skirt. I wore it front-ward for this outfit, since the scarf was drawing attention and I didn't want to overwhelm it. The cardigan also has little cut-outs on the bell sleeves, so there was plenty of detail here already.
My poor puffy feet.
My poor puffy nose.
36 weeks. Blazer: thrifted (not maternity, two sizes larger than my normal size). Blouse thrifted, not maternity. Pants grey cords Ebay. Shoes Crocs Malindi.
Again, the crop-length jacket really helps here. This blouse was non-maternity, but had an empire waistline and a generous hemline, making it ideal for a maternity blouse. It had a bunch of different colors in the pattern, so I was able to wear it many different ways. I like using one item with a pattern on it to draw together the colors of the rest of the outfit. The plum colored shoes here are one of the colors in the blouse.
37 weeks. Blouse, thrifted, not maternity. Tank Old Navy, Skirt gift from a friend, maternity and so huge and stretchy that I was only able to use it right at the end, and still had to use the belly band to hold it up. Shoes, Ross. Necklace, gift (some kind of rock/stone on the pendant).
Wow. Really swollen here. It actually got a bit better after this week, but this was probably the peak of the swelling. I really wanted to stop wearing shoes at all. I got a couple "huge" comments this week, which for the record, isn't a word a pregnant woman likes to hear.
For the rest of the photos in that week, I knelt down on the ground to hide my feet, so I wouldn't get comments on my blog.
Also, after seeing these photos, I decided I should definitely avoid blouses that fit completely around my belly for the remainder of my pregnancy.
38 Weeks. Necklace and bracelet, consignment, real coral, one of my favorite pieces of jewelry. Blouse Old Navy, not maternity. Tank Old Navy. Belt Ebay. Pants Ebay. Shoes Crocs Crocband Loafer.
This blouse was a size XL but was thin cotton and flowy and soft. If I hadn't belted it, it would have been waaaayyy baggy under my armpits. But it was comfortable and seemed flattering at this end-of-the-road stage.
I have never cared for my profile in photos, because it makes my face very angular. However, at this stage of pregnancy, when my face was so puffy, my profile was actually what I preferred over a straight-on shot. That's not really something you can manage in real life, what angle to view your face, but if you're taking photos at this stage, it's worth considering.
My son was born six days after this photo, one day before we would have taken my 39 week photos. As it turned out, after our midwife gave him a thorough review when he was born, she concluded that I was about a week further along in my pregnancy than we were calculating. His conception date had been a bit iffy, but she felt like she could determine once he was born, which of the two possible dates it was.
So I actually delivered him with a couple days of "40" weeks. However, I still only "thought" I was nearly 39 weeks, which made it emotionally easier to still be pregnant. I was prepared to go 42 weeks without induction, since that is the law in Texas during which time you can still deliver at home with a midwife. As any full-term pregnant woman will tell you however, she doesn't want to be pregnant one day longer than she "needs" to be. We chose natural labor and natural home birth for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the over-use of induction in hospitals, leading to many unnecessary cesarean surgeries. That said, I sympathize with every woman who is emotionally "done" with pregnancy.
So my 39/40 week outfit looked like this: (photos taken by my amazing photographer Ann Marie Itschner out of Kerrville).
And for all the twin comments I received during my pregnancy, it was a bit of relief to discover that my son was 10 pounds 4 ounces at birth, plenty big enough to have been a set of twins. I lost 20 pounds the day he was born, from him, placenta, water, blood, etc. And my ankles were back within 24 hours which was such a relief since I have always liked my feet!
I had fully intended to do some post-partum photos, because in many ways, it's harder to dress THAT body shape than a pregnant one. Chances are, your belly looks somewhere between three and seven months pregnant still, but it is loose and floppy instead of round and firm. If you are breastfeeding, your nipples are extremely tender and sore and you would ideally want to walk around shirtless everywhere so no fabric touches your nipples. Luckily both these things should last just a few weeks, and your belly will regain a sense of normalcy after time, and the nursing soreness will fade and become and easy and delightful nursing relationship.
I am now 22 months post partum, and not yet pregnant with my second child. I would say that my belly looks now about like it did when I was 10 weeks pregnant with my first child. It is a bit poofier than it ever was, even though I weigh the same as I did then. I don't exercise at a gym, or do special exercising at home, so I imagine it could look different if I did some working out. But that's not on my priority list at the moment.
My breasts went through so much change... Pre-pregnancy I am about a 34AA cup size, barely fitting into push-up/padded style 34A bras. During my first trimester of pregnancy, I increased to a size 36C, and wore that size for the remainder of my pregnancy. When I was first nursing, in the few weeks while your body doesn't know if you need enough milk for a singleton or quadruplets, I experienced some engorgement and have no clue what my bra size was. I didn't wear a bra during that time, as it was too constricting. I just wore a loose nursing blouse, and when I went out of the house, I wore a scarf that draped over my breasts to conceal anything showing through. I guess that wouldn't work in the summer, but I haven't crossed that road yet.
I am now 22 months post partum, and still nursing my son at bedtime, nap time, and wake-up time. I'm probably a size 34B, but nursing bras are stretchy and don't have the distinct measurements that normal bras do.
I'm proud of the changes my body went through, and the permanent shape-changes that remain with me. My body was meant to be used, it was designed to carry, nurture, and nurse babies, and it has done so (well one baby, not plural yet). It has been serving some of that purpose, and shows marks from that use. And that's okay with me.
I have been so thin my whole life, primarily by genetics, and I never really liked my body or thought I was beautiful. It was pregnancy, and all its crazy changes and lovely curves, that taught me to love my body, for how it looked, for what it can do.
So while fashion focuses on what we can do to our bodies externally, pregnancy is also a time to emotionally process how we feel about our bodies, good or bad. I hope it becomes a time where you can enjoy your changing shape, no matter what size you were or are or become. I hope the strength your body shows in growing and delivering a new human into the world (by the grace of God), can help you love your body more or begin to accept it for the first time.
We might be dressing the outside, but our hearts are on the inside, and our perception of ourselves is something that can blossom during this season of pregnancy, with all its loveliness and all its flaws. This is me. This is you. Thank God for our beautiful, strong bodies.
