My baby wearing journey began with a Moby Wrap (stretchy wrap) and an Ergo Baby (SSC).
And, of course, a baby.
That baby being my firstborn son. A baby who refused to be put down. Anywhere. For any length of time. Not in a swing, bouncer, car seat, bassinet, pack n play, or stroller. If I put him down much longer than 5 minutes, he cried. He liked it when I held him.
Then I couldn't get him to take naps in a crib. I tried, I cried, and tried again. He liked nursing to sleep in my arms, and staying there while he slept.
I couldn't put him down when he was awake, because he cried.
I couldn't put him down when he was asleep, because he would wake and cry.
I had thought I would wear him here and there. After all, I was determined to get this attachment parenting thing down. But I began to wear him more frequently, out of desperation. Desperation to get anything done, other than sit and hold a baby.
I made a surprising discovery. When I popped him in a baby carrier, he was happy.
He would ride around awake in the carrier, happy. He would fall asleep in the carrier, and nap there, for hours, happy.
With him in the carrier, my arms were free to do other things. Cook dinner. Fold cloth diapers. Tidy my home. Even sit at my desk and blog, while he napped in the carrier on my chest.
Eventually, I stopped trying to force him into a mold called sleeping in a crib and riding peacefully in a stroller.
There wasn't anything wrong with him; he just hated being alone.
As of this writing, he is three years old, and still hates being alone. He says about a hundred times a day, "Mommy, play with me!" And as much as I can, I do. Just like as much as I could, I wore him.
I've heard this story from many friends when they become new moms. "I can't get anything done! I'm stuck holding the baby awake, and holding the baby asleep. If I don't hold the baby, he cries. How am I supposed to get anything done?!"
The answer is, of course, you wear the baby.
After wearing my son for a significant percentage of my day, every day, I began to hunt for carriers that would be easier for me to use, and more comfortable for me to wear, many hours at a time.
After trying a broad range of carriers, I settled on the mei tai being my overall favorite type of carrier. I tried a lot of wraps, and loved the fabrics, but didn't love wrapping. I also use buckles and ring slings, but the mei tai takes the cake for comfort, especially when I wear a baby for an extended time.
WHAT IS A MEI TAI
Mei Tai is pronounced "May Tie", as in the month of May.
The other basic types of baby carriers are SSC (soft structured carrier, also called buckle carrier), woven wrap, stretchy wrap, ring sling, pouch sling. A mei tai is SORT of a hybrid between a woven wrap and a buckle carrier. It has a structured body like an SSC, but has soft fabric and increased adjustability like a woven wrap.
Mei tais originated in Asia, and their structure has morphed over the years into a popular style of baby carrier world wide.
STRUCTURE OF A MEI TAI
Structure of a mei tai
A mei tai has basic components:
- body panel
- long fabric shoulder straps
- long fabric waist straps
- hood.
Body Panels mostly range in size from 14x14 (baby size) to 18x18 (toddler size). Using the proper size for a child is important. A carrier that is drastically the wrong size (a preemie baby in a toddler size carrier, or a preschooler in a baby size carrier) could be uncomfortable or unsafe.
As much as possible, it is best to have a properly-sized carrier that does not need sizing adjustment. The proper size will be most comfortable, convenient, and safe.
Shoulder Straps could be narrow or wide (perhaps 3" to 10" in width). They could contain padding between the layers of the strap fabric, or be completely unpadded. They could be short or long (perhaps 50" to 90" in length).
Waist Straps could be narrow or wide (perhaps 3" to 6" in width). They could contain padding or be unpadded, or completely unstructured (without even a defined area to call a waistband). They could be short or long (ranging from 50" to 80" in length from end to end).
The Hood may be short or tall, wide or narrow. It can be temporarily attached to the shoulder straps, using clips and loops, to hold it in place over a baby's head (for sleep or shade).
COMFORT OF A MEI TAI
Most carrier discomfort comes from improper usage of the carrier. This can be corrected with education on how to use the carrier more comfortably. Secondarily, carrier discomfort comes from a carrier style or size that is not a good fit for the user or baby.
The first mei tai I tried (a Maya Tie), I actually despised and thought it was SO uncomfortable compared to the Ergo Baby SSC I was using at the time. Now, three years later, I realize I was just wearing it improperly.
At this point in my babywearing experience, I have found mei tais to be the most comfortable carrier for a few reasons:
Weight Distribution: When baby is worn on the front of my body (facing toward me), the mei tai straps make an "x" shape across my back. This distributes weight across my entire torso without causing pressure in any one area. My lower body is stronger than my upper body (as is true for many women). The waistband of a mei tai distributes weight both onto the hips/lower body, and onto the shoulders/torso/upper body.
Ease of Use compared to SSCs: Most buckle carriers (SSCs) have a buckle behind / between the shoulder blades. I could never get the hang of this. It was awkward and painful to be constantly reaching between my shoulders to buckle or unbuckle a little clip. Most people will find that an SSC is simpler to use than a mei tai, however, that was not the case for me, once I learned how to properly wear a mei tai. Now I can put a mei tai on much faster than a buckle carrier. (As a note, there are a few brands of SSC that have straps to cross over the back).
Ease of Use compared to woven wraps: Woven wraps have a learning curve for comfortable and safe wrapping, that I could never quite get the hang of. A key part of wearing a woven wrap safely, is to create a "seat" under baby's bum/thighs, to support baby's weight. A mei tai creates this seat easily and faithfully, using the body panel and waist strap. Woven wraps also keep all of the weight on the user's upper body, which is not my preference. Many people love woven wraps. I loved their fabrics, but not their usage.
STANDARD MEI TAI
Two common entry-level brands of mei tai are Infantino and Baby Hawk. By entry-level, I mean they are accessible (easy to locate new or used) and affordable ($20-$80 used, and $40-$100 new). There are many produced, so there are many in circulation new or used.
Those two brands are an example of what I would call standard mei tais.
Characteristics of a standard mei tai are:
- body panel that is not size adjustable
- sewn from plain or printed cotton fabrics
- narrow shoulder straps (with minimal or no padding)
- narrow waist band (with minimal or no padding)
- no hood.
A few downsides of these standard mei tais is the plain cotton fabric can be stiff. Narrow straps can "dig" pressure into the shoulders or waist since the child's weight is concentrated in the small width of the strap. A body panel that is not manufacturer-adjustable means the user will need to make adjustments using alternate "DIY" methods, which requires education to do safely or properly.
WRAP CONVERSION MEI TAI (WCMT)
Didymos Moss 55 dyed yellow woven wrap
A wrap conversion mei tai is a mei tai that is sewn (converted) from a woven wrap. A woven wrap (shown below) is a long piece of fabric used for babywearing.
A custom WCMT is when a woven wrap is purchased by a user, and mailed to an independent seamstress (sometimes called a conversion artist). The conversion artist sews the woven wrap into a mei tai, according to the owner's specifications.
Other WCMTs are produced (sewn) directly by the manufacturer who also produce the woven wraps. Seamstresses employed by the woven wrap company, sew the WCMT in a manner specified by the company. The company then sells the ready-made WCMT. In this case, there is no customization. All the mei tais produced by the same manufacturer will have a similar shape and size.
These ready-made WCMTs are primarily the ones I will review today.
Woven wraps have unique characteristics that plain fabric does not have. The wrap might be thick or thin, dense or airy, soft or sturdy. It may also be woven in a beautiful pattern.
A mei tai sewn from a woven wrap, will take on characteristics of the wrap it is sewn from, but now having the shape and structure of a mei tai.
I prefer WCMTs because of the unique characteristics of the fabric they are sewn from, in contrast to standard mei tais. They tend to be soft, cuddly, and mold to the body.
CHOOSING THE RIGHT SIZE MEI TAI
These are general estimates. Each baby's height, weight, and shape of torso versus lower body, etc., change the fit. To specifically fit a mei tai to your baby, please consult a babywearing professional in your area.
Mei Tai sizing is all about the child being worn. Most adults will fit in most any mei tai, since they are extremely adjustable to the wearer. When I say "mei tai sizing", I'm meaning fitting the mei tai to the child being worn.
All of these reviewed are marketed by the manufacturer to fit newborn to toddler. They are somewhat adjustable in size, by cinching or rolling the body panel, either using manufacturer built-in mechanisms (preferable), or user adjustments.
In my experience, these often don't fit the age range of child the manufacturer advertises. I will review the sizing of each one separately.
Here are "general rules of thumb" for choosing the right size mei tai, keeping in mind that some mei tais are adjustable and others are not.
This photo is not a mei tai, but illustrates the support of an ergonomic position of a child in a carrier. Lower body in a seated squat or "M" shape, knees higher than bum, supported roughly knee-to-knee.
A carrier is too wide for an infant if it forces their legs into splits. It should support from knee-to-knee in a seated squat position.
A carrier is too tall for an infant if it comes above their ears or covers their face (other than a hood draped lightly over the top of the head for shade).
A carrier is too narrow for a toddler if the body and straps cannot keep them in a seated position, and their legs are dangling almost from the hips. A toddler's bones have developed where they no longer must be in the knee-to-knee position, but children will likely be more comfortable in a seated position than a dangling position.
A carrier is too short for a toddler if the body panel cannot reach up higher than the middle of their back. It should preferably be pressed snugly under their armpits at a minimum (at which point, a search for a larger carrier might be in order).
ADJUSTING A MEI TAI SIZE
Didymos DidyTai Silver Waves, laid flat, partly cinched at the base
If manual adjustments could be straining the fabric of the carrier unnaturally, stop and get help. If you feel discomfort or strain in your body, or your child is acting uncomfortable or looks unsafe, especially resulting from an adjustment, get help. There's lots of safe ways to make sizing adjustments. There's also uncomfortable and unsafe ones. Use any adjustments at your own risk, as they may not be manufacturer-approved. Please consult a local babywearing educator for hands-on help.
To make a mei tai shorter, roll the waistband out away from your body, and upward, once or twice, to reach an appropriate height. This technique could also be used to temporarily reduce the body panel, for a child who wants to ride "arms out".
To make a mei tai narrower, use the manufacturer cinch or adjustments. Sometimes just gathering the fabric a bit by hand, in the seat area, just before placing the child inside, can help. There are other manual ways to narrow the base of a mei tai that is too wide, but there are conflicting opinions on their long-term safety and usage, so I won't bring them up here.
To make a mei tai wider, use the width of the wrap straps to create a wider knee support under the child. (This cannot be done with a standard narrow-strap mei tai).
To make a mei tai taller, purchase a new mei tai! Or in the case of an unstructured mei tai like the DidyTai, you could sometimes loosen the waist, sink the child deeper into the body panel, and wrap the straps wider to hold them up. (This is an advanced carry).
WEARING A MEI TAI
Didymos DidyTai Lisca Rosso, with newborn nursing
Mei tais can be used to wear the child on the user's front, hip, or back.
It is not recommended to use a mei tai for the baby to face away from the wearer.
Wearing the baby on the caregiver's back in a mei tai takes skill and practice, and is more complicated than a front carry. Babywearing International educators recommend waiting for back carries until baby can sit up unassisted. For users who must wear baby on their back prior to this age, a mei tai or woven wrap is recommended, over other types of carriers.
There are MANY brands, ranging in price from $20 - $200 used, and $50 - $250 new. Most of the ones I have reviewed are readily available new or used in the United States.
Mei Tais can be purchased new directly from retailers. On Facebook, there are many commerce groups to buy / sell / trade used baby carriers.
