This week I feel at
home, a sense of belonging, of rightness, of calm. You belong in our family. There is a place for you even now, in our
hearts, in our bedroom, on the earth. I
feel quietness lately. Some weeks I have
felt more worry or fear. Other weeks
more excitement or anticipation. This
week, I feel still. You are inside me. You are not there to stay, but you are there
now.
It doesn’t feel new
anymore. It just feels right. Like the mystery and bubbliness of new
romance that re-shapes into calm, deep, married love.
Your Daddy and I
tent-camped this weekend, as we do each year for our anniversary. In a few days, we will celebrate nine years
of marriage, ten years of being in each other’s lives. I adore the outdoors. I look forward to our anniversary trip all
year long. It is peaceful and quiet out in nature, so
still. We spend two or three or four
days never knowing what time it is.
Never waking up to an alarm, or even a clock. We wake with the sun (at least, I do!), eat
when we are hungry, nap when we are sleepy, adventure when we are antsy, and
rest again at night when we have had enough for one day. Babies live like that too!
I hope you felt our
peace and joy these last few days.
The Lord is so good
to us. I keep thinking of good things in
our lives, and realizing how little we had to do with them, how grateful we are
to the Lord for His strong hand and tender gifts.
I said this week
that I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I know well that happy emotions aren’t always
present in a meaningful life, and I don’t seek “happiness” as an ultimate
goal. I’ve lived through enough
frightening times to know with God’s help, I can survive and find stability
even in sadness. But when happiness comes,
deep joy welling from gratefulness and peace, it is so sweet.
Last night, your
Daddy spoke to you for the first time louder than a whisper. When he has talked to you before, for some
reason he instinctively whispers. And he
usually just says, “Hello,” or “Hi, Beta, how are you doing?” But last night, he spoke clearly in his
normal voice, and introduced himself to you for the first time, “Hi Beta, this
is your Daddy. I can’t wait to meet you. I love you.” It makes me cry every time.
You are the size of
an apple this week, somewhere between four and five inches from crown to rump,
and weighing around five ounces.
Underneath your
skin, fat begins to accumulate. It gives
you energy, and will warm you in the cool earth air. It is a warm ninety-eight plus degrees in
your house right now (no wonder I hate being cold!), but earth air will be much
colder when you arrive. Our home will be
warm, but the March air will be chill, at least for Texas.
So keep growing that cozy fat!
Not to worry though,
because sunny summer will be right around the corner! Then, your sweat glands, which are also
forming this week, will come in handy.
Your skeleton is
changing from cartilage to bone, making your limbs finally proportionate to the
size they will be when you are born.
From now forward, they will grow evenly.
Your digestive
system has developed enough for meconium to begin accumulating in your
intestines.
And finally, your
brain is developing connections to your senses – sight, smell, hearing, touch,
and taste. Your eyelids are still fused
shut for several more months, and your taste buds won’t form for several more
weeks, but the sensory connections to your eyes and tongue are taking
shape. Your sense of touch is already
developed, and hearing will be the next sense you will use. During this coming week your outer ear will
form enough for physical hearing.
And just like the
Psalm says, we are telling you (so you can hear it!) about the Lord’s goodness
before your birth.
“Our children will
also serve Him.
Future generations
will hear about the wonders of the Lord.
His righteous acts
will be told to those not yet born.
They will hear
about everything He has done.” Psalm
22:30-31
“I will sing of the
Lord’s unfailing love forever.
Young and old will
hear of your faithfulness.” Psalm 89:1
“Let me hear of
your unfailing love each morning,
for I am trusting
You.
Show me where to
walk,
for I give myself
to You.” Psalm 143:8
When I searched for
Bible verses about eyes and hearing, most of them were petitioning the Lord to
see or hear US, not the other way around!
Psalm 94:9 asks
directly, “Is He deaf – the One who made your ears? Is He blind – the One who formed your eyes?”
No, the One who
shaped your ears can hear you (Your heartbeat! Your gentle sucking sounds!),
and the One who colored your eyes can see you (Brown like me? Hazel like your daddy? Blue like your grandpa?) Even now you are heard, you are seen. Beautiful.
When I cannot, it is comforting to know that He can.
