Lately I’m starting
to feel sobering reality. Both your
Daddy and I have had SO much excitement this entire pregnancy. We waited what seems like so many years, and
worked so hard to get to this point, that from the moment we found out you
existed, we could hardly contain our joy.
The time of your expected arrival is approaching like a freight train,
and the time we have left until then speeds quickly behind us. I am no less joyful, but also facing the
reality that we are about to become parents.
We are about to
begin a journey that most likely, won’t end until decades and decades from now
when one of us relocates to heaven. We
will always be your parents. You will
always be our child. In marriages,
unfortunately sometimes they end.
Husband and wife call each other that no longer. I wish it wasn’t that way. But children are blood, and you will always
be ours.
The responsibility
of this is both heavy and beautiful.
Beta, we will fail
you. We will disappoint you, and not
just by not letting you have ice cream or such.
We will make mistakes. While
trying our hardest, we will sadly wound your heart. Despite our best efforts, we have made
mistakes in our marriage, and failed each other at times in our marriage. This is the heavy.
My parents are the
best I could ask for, and they have made mistakes and hurt me. Yet in the end, the strength and tirelessness
of their love for me wins out. Their
perseverance, repentance, dedication to Jesus and to expressing His love, is a
victory won over anything troublesome that occurs along the way. Your Daddy and I have experienced the same in
our marriage. This is the beautiful.
Just like our
parents, we won’t be perfect. We won’t
do everything right. We will hurt you
without meaning to. Such is life in a
broken earth.
But the beauty that
shines through the brokenness is this: Jesus saves. He loves. He redeems. He
restores. He heals. And life with Him is
worth living.
And when we don’t
know what to do to help you or instruct you, He is our source and our
answer. And when we have failed you and
you are old enough to be aware of your wound, He is your source and your
answer.
HE will NEVER fail
us.
Because of this, we
have Someone to hang onto when everything else is broken.
Your Daddy tells
you every morning and evening that he loves you. I tell you many times a day, often while
rubbing your back through my skin. Our
love comes from Jesus, the source of love.
Our imperfections come from this broken earth, from our own poor
choices, from sin. So we love you
desperately, yet imperfectly. We love
you, Beta. That will never change.
I pray that through
the brokenness and wounds, and through the victories and beauty, that together
we discover Jesus, become more of His children, lean more into His arms. That drawing to Him binds us together as a
family. This is the hope we have in
Christ.
Thirty Three 33 Weeks Pregnant
Thirty Three 33 Weeks Pregnant
This week I’ve finally
noticed definite times where you must be sleeping, and definite alert
times. You will be awake, moving,
kicking and playing for twenty or thirty minutes, with these huge, strong,
movements. Then I will feel nothing for
an hour or so while you rest. Then a few
bumps for ten minutes or so, then another hour or so of sleep. About every other night, one of your
extremely active sessions occurs in the middle of the night, usually sometime
between two and four am. I’m wondering
if you will continue this after you are born!
We worked on your
nursery over the weekend too. Your Daddy
painted the walls grey and yellow. Your
Grandmama is sewing a quilt. This week I
will finish the painting of the walls, and we will move the furniture into the
room!
You now weigh about
four and a half pounds, and are roughly eighteen inches long. The size of your head is expanding rapidly,
allowing important brain growth. Your
bones continue to harden, except for the ones in your head. These stay pliable, to help your head squish
into a shape that will allow you to exit your house in a couple more months.
The level of water
in your swimming pool has peaked. From
here forward, it will gradually decrease as the size of your body gradually
increases, taking up more real estate.
You are also drinking and urinating a pint of fluid every day! That’s quite a lot of fluid for such a little
one as you.
As your house
grows, the walls get thinner. This lets
you see more changes in light, indoor, outdoor, day and night. And your immune system is now relatively
stable, and could protect you from mild infections.
These verses tell
you how much you matter to Jesus.
“People were bringing
little children to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them, but the disciples
rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the
little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God
belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter
it.’ And He took the children in His arms, placed His hands on them and blessed
them.”
(Mark 10:13-15)
“Jesus took a little
child whom He placed among them. Taking the child in His arms, He said to them,
‘Whoever welcomes one of these little children in My name welcomes Me; and
whoever welcomes Me does not welcome Me but the One who sent Me.’ ”
(Mark 9:36-38)
In these verses, we
see the ways parents are to care for their children, by the example of the
apostles caring for their churches.
“Just as a nursing mother
cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we
were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as
well.”
(1 Thessalonians 2:7-8)
“You are witnesses, and
so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed.
For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own
children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God,
who calls you into His kingdom and glory.”
(1 Thessalonians 2:10-12)
This week, I pray for you
by praying for us. That we will care for
you, love you, encourage and comfort you, and urge you to live a life worthy of
God. That despite the failures we will
inevitably have, that the power of God will shine through us, will be caught by
you, and displayed through you to the world.
